Not that I’m a California resident, but I think the California governor’s race is greatly fascinating. My candidate, of course, is Gary Coleman.

Just think of it! Each of California’s problems could be solved in a half-hour, or in extreme cases, a two-episode story arc (although I suspect Coleman might suggest that these problems would consequently span one week instead of one hour, but that’s the kind of legal quibbling that leads to unnecessary impeachment and the like). Gary Coleman would never have to use the veto. Whenever the legislature would, say, give him sass, he could disarm them with a quick “whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, legislature?” memo that would be more effective than any majority whip.

Then there’s the interview Arnold Schwartzenegger gave to pornographic magazine Oui. It’s greatly fascinating as well. Why is it that the interview only seems to make him more likeable? Actually, I despise every movie Schwarzenegger has ever made with the exception of… huh. I just went to his imdb profile and there don’t seem to be any.