You know how sometimes you get that feeling like something bad is going to happen? I'd been having that feeling for a while before the election, I think my regular readers know that. So while I wasn't exactly surprised about the outcome of the recent election, I was, obviously, disappointed. And not just because Bush had won the election, but because I was going to have to make a seriously heavy decision. I don't want to live in a country where the majority of the voting public thinks George W. Bush should be president, it's as simple as that.

When Bush won in 2000, my best friend and I had promised to both leave the country if he won again in 2004. What the hell, I wasn't even in the country at the time. I almost moved to Europe when I was there in the summer of 2002, but decided I wouldn't have been able to make it work. In 2003, I quit my job and went up to Canada for a month, living off my deposit.

So, when I was writing earlier about leaving the country, I can assure you I'm not kidding. As the election approached, I promised myself I would only think about leaving if Bush won both the popular and the electoral vote.

Let's flash back to 2000. I thought Gore had it in the bag. I like to think I'm good at predicting things, but I had no idea about the whole Florida fiasco. And I thought I knew what Bush was capable of, so I called my friend and made the aformentioned deal. First term is one thing, but second term? I didn't resolve to stay in Canada because, I figured, what's the worst that can happen?

So you can only imagine what can happen this time around. And frankly, I don't want to be here for it. I've left the country before, I could very easily do it again. I mean, I'm twenty-four years old and I don't have any student loans or outstanding mortgages. But then, I've never really <i>worked</i> outside the country, either; it's always been tantamount to a vacation. College counts as a vacation, right? Let me tell you, being an immigrant fucking sucks. And I'm not going to do anything crazy like try and get Canadian citizenship, it takes for-fucking-ever and you can't even marry someone to get it (they have a point system, and marriage is just another point). If I leave, it means I have to keep moving–go big or go home, my friends. If I leave Brooklyn, I'm going all out (or over, as the case may be). I know people all over the place, on account of having gone to a remarkably international university (watch out, DJ So Su Mi!). This would have to be a four-year world tour.

Here's what it is: I love leaving the country, I hate starting over (I also need to find a new apartment by next month–how fortuitous). So this is a real decision I have to make right now.

But all of a sudden, my career has never been going better, and I don't want to leave my friends here (few, if any of them plan on leaving). On the other hand, several of my international acquaintances have been very generously offering their couches to refugees of late.

So what am I to do? You'll notice I haven't been posting lately (I see you people keep checking for updates, sorry). Mostly, I've been getting drunk and sentimental and resolving not to leave. But more sober reflection bears out the following facts:

1. I have every reason to stay except that I don't want to.
<br>2. I don't know how much this Presidency is going to directly affect me, personally. I'm pretty much in one piece right now. Then again, I've only been back for a year.
<br>3. What the fuck would I do? Short of a book deal, it'd be tough to find work abroad where I don't have any connections or a work permit.

Basically, it boils down to economic reasons, which just makes me feel really bourgeois if I stay. More to follow.